A Mother’s Hold

On New Year’s Eve, JC and I are flying to the Midwest to meet up with my family.  This is the first time JC will be meeting my mother.  I am 52 years old and this is also the first time my mother will be faced with the fact that her daughter is really gay.  Of course she’s known for awhile, but I don’t think it is real to some people until it stares them in the face.

I admit I’m a little nervous.  I know I shouldn’t be, but I am.  There are a thousand thoughts and questions going through my mind.  How will she treat JC?  How should I act in front of my mother?  Will my mother be able to take us into her heart and accept us unconditionally?  Will this be an uncomfortable visit?  How will it affect my relationship with JC?

What is it about a mother that she has so much emotional hold on her children?  Or maybe I should be asking, why do I give her so much power in my life?  I think the emotional hold comes from the longing to be “unconditionally” loved by our mother and father.  I don’t think there is a human being alive that doesn’t wish for that deep in their soul.  Being loved by our biological parents cuts to the core of our worth.